Death in the Family

by K_REY_C | More from this Blogger

27 Oct 2009 09:01 PM

As I write this I am sitting not in Texas, but in Iowa. My wife's grandfather passed away and we are back in town for the funeral. Our son's great-grandfather has moved on. The difficulties were/are many: A near one-thousand mile car drive? CHECK. Missing a week of work? CHECK. Missing a week of school? CHECK. One three month old child? CHECK. ...who isn't "road-tested"? CHECK. With all of these really good reasons for not making the trip why would we actually decide to do it? Family.

My wife was understandably close to all of her grandparents. This closeness also helped us more easily make the decision to come home. My wife had the good fortune to know many of her great-grandparents. This was something I did not experience. In fact, all of my grandparents have been gone for a long while. They were unable to be a part of my adult life. This also created a strong necessity for my son to experience his own great-grandparents. This reality was made more certain through this unexpected trip home. Cillian will meet his remaining great-grandparents during our trip.

I've talked about meeting with family over long distances before but we were only able to put it into practice once with Cillian's recently deceased great-grandfather. He wasn't particularly interested in talking because he was already sitting in a comfortable chair somewhat distanced from the computer screen. He also had some hearing trouble which didn't help the digital communications along either. However, our son was able to meet his great-grandfather in some form while they were both still living. How much more important that we be present for his final, great, send-off?

It is also important to note that our son wouldn't even exist without his great-grandfather. My wife wouldn't exist either. This man has given me the two most important people in my life, and for that, I will be forever grateful.

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Kyle is a husband, father, graduate student, playwright, dramaturg, actor, graphic designer, instructor, technology enthusiast, excel master, and friend.

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ruthann8 (6378) 28 Oct 2009 07:01 AM

I'm sorry for wife's loss. My grandmother passed away this year. I too was very close to her. It was very hard last few years for her. She had been very sick. But we were able to make the trip home several times and it was wonderful being able to make my grandmas day by bringing her only great grandchild over. Or trip was only a little over 4 hours to NW Iowa.

It was very hard for me after she passed. I looked at all my very young cousins and realized that they will never know her the way I did.

K_REY_C (91) 14 Nov 2009 09:04 PM

Yes... that was part of what motivated the drive. I never knew any of my great-grandparents and I wanted to make sure Cillian would be able to meet both his great-grandparents AND his great-great-grandparents. Death's are hard... but children are hope! Thanks so much for sharing!