My Wife Does EVERYTHING

by K_REY_C | More from this Blogger

01 Sep 2009 04:23 PM

Earlier yesterday my wife remarked about the fact that she does everything pertaining to our son. While I'd like to be able to disagree with this perspective it would be somewhat impossible. All of our son's primary needs are met by his mother. My wife feeds him, clothes him, bathes him, soothes him, gets up in the middle of the night with him, spends the days with him, and on and on. Her saintly actions glitter brightly against the stark darkness of my indirect actions.

This got me thinking about what I actually do for our son. People keep asking, "how's the baby," and "getting any sleep?" (The last is usually followed with a chuckle). The truth is that I am getting sleep. Our young son can't get what he needs from me. I can't feed or soothe him. Although I do help with clothing and bathing my wife takes the lead because he's more comforted by her touch and presence. What do I actually do for our son?

Occasionally I... (at this point, my son started crying as I was writing). Returning to what I was going to say, and oddly, what actually happened, my wife was simply worn out. She was tired from nursing him all day (he's a cluster feeder) and needing a brief period of time to get some sleep. I dutifully took our crying son and walked, for an hour, keeping a steady movement enabling him to not cry. Did this help him sleep? No. He didn't fall asleep. He'll somewhat nod off but he's more hungry than tired.

During our walk around the house (his world is so small) I tell him that he's a good boy. When he thinks about crying I tell him that every minute he waits he's making his mother that much happier because she's going to be that much less tired. He listens intently, opens his eyes wide, moves his hands a little bit, and suggests (without speaking) that I should change my carrying position. This is what I can do for my son. This is, however, even more important for my exhausted wife. What do other dad's do for their children/wives?

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Kyle is a husband, father, graduate student, playwright, dramaturg, actor, graphic designer, instructor, technology enthusiast, excel master, and friend.

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Michele Cheplic (37339) 02 Sep 2009 02:40 AM

Don't feel bad Kyle. Believe me the little that you are doing is a LOT more than some dads do or have done. The mere fact that you are cognizant of what your wife does and validate her efforts will serve you well now and in the future. It won't be this way forever--kids grow up SO fast. Soon you will be the one begging for sleep b/c your son will want to play 24/7.

Valorie Delp (49340) 03 Sep 2009 05:19 AM

Haha. . .so my husband always talked about how he didn't think babies woke up that much. I nursed on demand and so there was never a reason to wake him. Plus I figured that if I didn't have to go to work I could always catch a few zzzz's during the day.

Then we had twins. It gave him a whole new appreciation for me. ;-) But I def. agree with Michele. It changes so quickly.