Raising Great Kids, and Having a Great Marriage

by Rich Andrews | More from this Blogger

19 May 2008 07:45 PM

If you are married and are a parent, you probably have heard the old saying, "In order to be a good father, you must be a good husband first." I still believe that's true after 20 years of marriage-if anything, even more so after this year. It's been a tough year, trying to take care of a child with special needs, trying to raise 2 young girls, 2 teenagers, and having my wife work full-time while I stay home and try to keep the family together. Add on top of that, money problems, lack of child care, and a wife with a chronic illness, it makes for a lot of strain on a marriage. It's easy to forget to spend quality time with my wife. You need a break away from the kids and the routine of life, but you don't think you can afford it. The answer is quite simple, and yet profound: You can't afford not to do it! Your wife needs to feel special like she did when your first started going out together. She desperately needs to feel loved and accepted, and cared for by you. It is so easy for your love for each other to get choked out by all the worries and cares of this world.

Some things don't have to cost you any money to get away for just a little while each day. You can take a walk around your neighborhood, or take a drive for 15 minutes. If you have very young children, you might be able to go somewhere for an hour, while the kids are at church in the nursery. Recently, I took my wife to get a breakfast sandwich one Sunday while the kids were at church. It wasn't long -maybe 30 minutes, but it made her feel special. If you don't have a sitter, or family you can count on, you might be able to ask a friend at church you trust.

If you don't invest the time now with your wife, you will regret it later. Your wife's attitude, good or bad, has a profound effect on the overall tone of the entire household. The old saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy", kind of brings it all back into perspective.

Take the time to look for creative ways to make time with the one you love. Today, I had a opportunity to do something silly with my wife in front of our kids. I saw her jumping on the trampoline and I decided it would be fun to jump on it with her. We smiled and laughed, and our daughter and the dog got on with us. What fun we had. That was a special memory we created on the spur of the moment.

My point is that you have to be looking for them. If you do, I believe that you will be on your way to raising great kids and having a great marriage. Your kids will see that your relationship with your wife is important.

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Learn more about Rich Andrews

Rich has been married 20 years to his wife Laura. They have 4 children together, one with many special health and learning needs because of velocardiofacial syndrome.

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Dale Harcombe (10373) 19 May 2008 08:50 PM

Couldn't agree more that we need to look after our marriage partner first. Great to hear it from a guy's point of view. I've dealt with some of this in these blogs. http://christian.families.com/blog/keeping-the-happily-ever-after http://christian.families.com/blog/laziness-part-1-in-marriage My dear one and I have been married over twice as long as you and your wife. We've had lots of practice at caring for each other first and foremost

Rich Andrews (276) 20 May 2008 08:59 PM

Thanks Dale. Yes, we have a ways to go to catch up to you guys, but we are having a lot of fun along the way! All of God's best to you and your wife.

Dale Harcombe (10373) 20 May 2008 09:36 PM

husband, you mean

Rich Andrews (276) 21 May 2008 04:12 AM

Oh my goodness... this is Rich's WIFE, and he was so embarassed... Dale, he was just looking at your name, and assuming you were a fellow FATHER... :-) plus your picture is a little small. We have it straight now. Good thing we can laugh at ourselves!!!

Dale Harcombe (10373) 21 May 2008 08:27 PM

No worries. I just thought I should clarify the confusion. I read the article not because it was part of the Fathers blog but because the title caught my eye. Apparently I was named after the heroine of a novel my mother was reading before I was born which she claimed was 'the loveliest story she had ever read.' I only wish I knew what the book was. She' s no longer alive to ask. If you're interested there's a larger photo of me on my website www.daleharcombe.com

Rich Andrews (276) 22 May 2008 10:45 AM

That is very sweet; I would imagine you must treasure your name because of that. Thanks for sharing your site, and I did see your picture over there too! ~ L

Rich Andrews (276) 30 May 2008 06:29 PM

This is Rich writing this time. Sorry about the mix up. I too went to your website and saw your lovely picture. I was very impressed with your books. We have kids that I think would really like your books. Australia! Wow! I think it is amazing that we can communicate with someone half way around the world. We live in Huntertown, Indiana - that's the northeastern part of the State. Sounds like you have been involved with Christian ministry for a long time. My wife and I met at Fort Wayne Bible College, which is now part of Taylor University in Indiana. She is an amazing woman, so beautiful and intelligent. I am so blessed. I wouldn't even be writing now if it were not for her. So...I guess we can blame all of this on her:)

Dale Harcombe (10373) 30 May 2008 07:11 PM

My books, 'Karaoke Kate' and 'Red Alert' are available in USA. Thanks for your comments. Yes, both my husband and I have been inlvoved in Christian ministry for a long time, probably about 35 years. I also doubt I would be writing without his encouragement. We were teenagers when we met and he is still the love of my life. He is retired http://christian.families.com/blog/making-a-major-decision1 these days -from work but not Christian ministry. We enjoy teaching a class together teling kids about Jesus at the local school each week. I'm so thankful that opportunity is still available to us in Australia.