To Be(ard) Or Not To Be(ard)

by K_REY_C | More from this Blogger

02 Jul 2009 04:22 PM

Yes, I've started with "The Bard." While I'm not a Prince, and I don't think this will end in tragedy, I must admit that the question of facial hair perplexes me as it relates to children. No doubt many fathers adorn their faces with hair but I'm uncertain about keeping it for a number of reasons, and with the birth of my 1st child looming (mid-August) the decision must be made soon.

You see, when I was newly born my Uncle sported a full beard. I remember sitting on his lap and being fascinated by the dark and coarse hairs which surely should have been on his head but for some reason or another situated themselves around his mouth and chin. I think my Uncle found this amusing and he was a warm, cuddly oddity to the young children he visited.

Flash forward to 2003. I'm studying abroad in Ireland. Somehow the pure (100% Irish) genetics got passed down to me, even though the family has been in the states for some time. When I was in Ireland they shouldn't have been able to tell the difference between me and one of their own if I kept my mouth shut (said my mother). However, I had facial hair. The Irish men of my age were baby faced, dressed stylishly, and had short haircuts that they gelled. When I asked one of them "What's with the clean shave and the short hair?" they said, "Oh, you know, it's just what we do." Then I asked, "Well, what do people think about me?" I tried to flash my nicest smile, grab my chin, strike a pose to give the best impression. The answer came back "Drug dealer, drug user, something like that." WHAT? No wonder people thought twice about talking to me on the streets. You now see my hesitation with facial hair.

Add to this the fact that I'm lazy, at least with my own appearance. Since my adult life has included involvement with the theatre I have very rarely been in control of my own appearance. When cast in a show I would not be allowed to shave, trim, etc... and I've grown accustomed to other people dictating not only when I groom, but how. When left to my own devices the beard simply grows because I never think of shaving it. I've never been ambushed into a grooming.

I don't want to scare my child though. I'm also afraid that my son won't recognize me if I change too drastically when he's born. One day with a beard and then the next day without. Would he recognize me?

Also, I'm teaching a large section (450 student) course this next semester. Since respect is earned or lost on the first day I usually plan on having facial hair in order to belie my baby face and relatively young age for the first couple of weeks. 450 students who think that you're their age is no way to begin classroom management.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Also, since I'm part blind (read: wear spectacles) I'm wondering about the day to day recognition of babies to parents changing glasses, contacts, etc...

Any help in the comments very much appreciated.

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Kyle is a husband, father, graduate student, playwright, dramaturg, actor, graphic designer, instructor, technology enthusiast, excel master, and friend.

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Michele Cheplic (37231) 03 Jul 2009 06:25 AM

I vote for the last pic. But that's just me. I wear contacts and glasses and my baby didn't really care, so long as my breasts remained the same. That baby is now a preschooler and the only time she says I'm "pretty" is when I don't have my glasses on--go figure. Your baby will recognize you regardless. I chopped off all my hair when my dd was 3 months old and she barely blinked. As for your students--personally I think clean cut = "respect" more than the scruffier look. IMO!!!

K_REY_C (71) 05 Jul 2009 09:40 AM

Thanks Michele! My wife certainly prefers me without spectacles but is torn about the facial hair. She likes that it hides my recently forming "double chin" (an unavoidable genetic gift). At any rate... I'm now cleanly shaven (and spectacled)... time will tell how long I continue to shave though. I don't have a good track record!